bill-swift - October 13, 2012
It's been a while since I went to church but I'm pretty sure nuns aren't supposed to steal beer. Some security camera footage from Oklahoma shows an old woman, dressed like a nun, stuffing a tall boy of Bud in her skirt. She then grabs a water bottle that she plans to pay for to throw the inbred Okie clerk off the scent. It's a sad day when the members of our clergy have to resort to theft in order to get their drank on. When I was in Catholic school, the priests used to polish off whatever was left in the bottles of jug wine that weren't being turned into Jesus juice. The nuns' needs were well taken care of so they could spend their small salary on whatever they needed. I had an old Cajun nun who used to tell me about her Kmart shopping sprees. What I'm saying is that we all need to pass around the hat and install a kegerator in the rectory. They already can't have sex. In my book that makes it Miller time.