Sam Robeson - October 2, 2018
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Now that I'm one word into this post I'm realizing that people may not give a shit about Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin. Carl Lentz' brainwashed sex slave and some Instagram model. This is a disaster. Even though he's a cult member, and even though he's covered in Pigeon Forge religious-themed souvenier blanket tattoos, and even though he's tinged with South America whorehouse puss, Bieber could pretty much pull in any tail he wanted. And he went with Hailey Baldwin. Best known for looking like a face swap between Stephen Baldwin and Ivanka Trump. Wait, that actually doesn't sound bad. Best known for... being... IDK a stupid bitch. She's not famous enough to be known for anything.
The two did in fact get married last month in New York City (as supposedly proven by their interactions at a recent museum visit. How dull can these two be) and now we know that they didn't sign a prenup. Who needs a prenup when true love is on your side. Plus even though celebrity marriages rarely last, this seems like the one that's going to defy the odds.
According to TMZ, Baldwin and Bieber actually attempted to get a prenup immediately before hurriedly getting hitched in October, but once they learned that more than five seconds of planning is required to hash out an important legal document, they said "lol jk" and got married anyway - with the intent of getting a postnup. Bieber is worth $250 million, so Baldwin surely is diligently getting those postnup papers together. "Ya hun it's crazy, no word from the lawyer yet!" As she stands over... IDK... a dead lawyer. Honestly, how are people this crazy this damn boring? I miss butthole eyes.
Photo Credit: Instagram / Backgrid USA / MEGA
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