No Matter If You Like Mariah Carey, You Must Love Her Boobs

 If Mariah Carey ever loses her singing voice in some sort of freak accident, like mistaking bleach for mouth wash, she should make a career switch to being a bounce house for children's parties. Given the size of her chest, I think she would be comparable in safety to those inflatable thunderdomes.

If that does not give her enough worth then she should offer her services to her local police department. Whenever there is a jumper on top of a building they can call her up and she can take the place of the inflatable landing pad. I can understand that she might not be comfortable simply handing out her phone number, that is why I suggest they create their own version of the Batman spotlight. Rather than the bat symbol, hers can be giant cleavage. Whenever she sees it in the sky she will throw on her costume, preferably a string bikini, and show up to the site ready for business. It would be a valuable service to her community and fill a void that has remained vacant for far too long.    

Photo Credit: Splash News