Lex Jurgen - April 21, 2017
Kim Kardashian came under fire on social media for declaring her recent flu bout as an amazing diet technique. Followed immediately by the people bitching at her online simultaneously Googling, "best ways to contract the flu". There's outrage and then there's your girlfriends telling you you look amazing.
“The flu can be an amazing diet. So happy it came in time for the Met lol #6lbsdown.”
Objectively, the most obscene part of that statement is a thirty-six year old woman writing 'lol'. If you imagined the shit this family does to squeeze into their petite sex worker uniforms, a viral infection wouldn't even make the top ten. Swallowing leeches and Kanye semen seems more CDC risky. Also, that bit about cracking your rib cage, compressing your internal organs, and vacuuming fat off your duodenum isn't recommended by four out of five dentists, save the ones the Kardashians are fucking for discounted crowns.
The Met Ball comes in a couple weeks. Name a female attendee who isn't currently starving themselves to fit into their designer gown. These millionaire seamstresses who rabidly fight body shaming while stitching in Barbie doll proportions. There's been a run on cotton balls and celery at whatever the expensive shop version of Walmart is. Don't hate Kim Kardashian for being super obvious about being like the rest of them. Hate her for wearing white hooker before Memorial Day.
Photo credit: Instagram/Kim Kardashian
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