Heidi Klum’s Next Top Model Bikini

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aldo-vallon - November 9, 2017

 I wonder what it would take for me to no longer consider Heidi Klum to be attractive. My initial thought would be that it would there to be third degree burns over ninety percent of body. Even that is only a theoretical estimate, because if she threw a wig on and some red lipstick I would still have a hard time saying no. If all the ravages of motherhood could not wreck her body beyond the point of salvageability then I do not know what could. Pregnancy is like setting a a pipe bomb off inside a woman's uterus, only instead of shrapnel coming out they get a child. Yippee. It is probably a good thing no one gets a choice between the two because I might actually take my chances with the shrapnel. How badly could a few hundred ball bearings hurt anyway? I have been hit by a paintball in the gonads before. They are probably comparable, right? That paintball still hurt like the dickens, but I would take it over child support payments any day of the week. The pain of the paintball only lasts a few days. The child support lasts eighteen years. 

Photo Credit: Splash News / Backgrid USA / Instagr

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