Happy Global James Bond Day

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bill-swift - October 6, 2012

Today is Global James Bond day. 50 years ago on this date James Bond appeared on the big screen for the first time in Dr. No. 23 films and 6 different Bonds later, the franchise is still going strong. The martini-drinking, chick-banging spy will be shooting some baddies in his latest film Skyfall this November. So, the question is: Why do we still care about James Bond? The Cold War is over, womanizing if frowned on, as is drinking heavily, and murdering lackeys that work in secret lairs inside hollow volcanoes. I took a couple of psych classes in college, so I'm pretty sure that makes me an expert. I think it's a classic case of transference. Bond represents who both men and women want.

Is there anything more sad and lame than the daily drudgery of the modern Western man? We go to school, get a job, get married, buy a house in an antiseptic suburb, and shoot out a couple of kids. Maybe we play golf on the weekends and get a half-hearted BJ on our birthdays. Eventually we grow old and die. But James Bond does whatever he wants. He drives expensive cars and gambles on the British people's dime. He sleeps with at least 3 women per movie and they are ALWAYS super hot. Look at the list of Bond girls for God's sake! And anyone who crosses him gets shot in the face. Bond lives a life free of consequences. He's glamorous, brave, and a total badass. No wonder there have been 23 films.

And the ladies? Look, I consider myself as enlightened a guy as the next modern man. But do you know what many educated, independent, modern ladies have told me about Bond? "Sometimes you just want a guy who will slam you against a wall and screw you." It is a fact that every "nice guy nerd" knows all too well: chicks dig jerks. I'm not sure if it's a desire to reform the bad boy or if it's just a primordial desire to be with the alpha male. Let's face it, back in cave man days the smart guy with a great sense of humor did not rule the tribe. The biggest jerk with the best skills at clubbing things to death ruled the roost. Plus Bond is a lot better looking and sexy than their husbands. The producers of the James Bond flicks aren't stupid. There is a reason Bond has been played by Sean Connery, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan, and Daniel Craig. They are the sex. I'd do them too.

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