Gotta Get Sofia Richie More Boats and Hoes

There are few guarantees in life, just look at Lionel Richie. The man was a hit machine in the 1970s and 1980s, but he somehow couldn't manage to produce a single offspring that isn't a total waste of space. If you had to rank his children, though—and why would you?—Sofia Richie would probably come out on top. She's not offending my sensibilities every time she opens her mouth like her useless sister or making fake bomb threats like her equally worthless brother.

The thing I really like about Sofia is her clear affinity for boats and hoes. She's clearly gotta have her more boats and hoes, as evidenced by all the bikinied babes on this particular pleasure cruise. I'm not entirely sure who all of these ladies are, but they certainly seem to be having a good time.

I hope that they find smooth waters ahead and that Sofia can start hanging out with her gal pals rather than sitting around talking to a bunch of dudes. Not sure what that's all about, but I think she definitely needs to hang with the ladies. The fellas can only bring you trouble, Sofia, you should know that much by now.

Photos courtesy of MEGA