elliot-wolf - January 13, 2019
Being womanhandled by a 115 pound attractive female Brazilian UFC fighter is #relationshipgoals for me. Not so much for the guy who tried to rob strawweight Polyana Viana. Having your ass handed to you by a woman is hard. Especially if she’s always been an authentic female her entire life. There’s some sympathy on the table if the “lady” that rearranged your face was built like Dennis Rodman in a dress. But not much. It takes balls to take down someone that claims to have a gun. Luckily Polyana wasn’t hurt since the small time crook was more inexperienced than Al Pacino in Dog Day Afternoon. I hope the offender finds Christ behind bars and gives up his criminal ways. Or at least picks up papier mache with all the new found extra time and learns how to craft a more convincing weapon not made from cardboard. Then use it on himself.
A would-be mugger got way more than he bargained for when he tried to rob a female UFC fighter in Brazil.
UFC strawweight Polyana Viana was waiting for an Uber outside of an apartment complex in Rio de Janeiro when a would-be mugger who claimed to have a weapon approached her.
"When he saw I saw him, he sat next to me," Viana said. "He asked me the time. I said it, and I saw he wasn't going to leave. So, I already moved to put my cellphone in my waist.
"And then he said, 'Give me the phone. Don't try to react, because I'm armed.' Then he put his hand over [a gun], but I realized it was too soft.""I thought, 'If it’s a gun, he won’t have time to draw it.'
So I stood up. I threw two punches and a kick. He fell, then I caught him in a rear-naked choke. Then I sat him down in the same place we were before and said, 'Now we’ll wait for the police.'"
No man needed for protection? There’s a lot of real feminism to be found in this story. And a reinterpretation of “hits like a girl.” I’m just glad she doesn’t have a case of Chris Cyborg in the face.
Photo Credit: Getty Images / Backgrid USA / Instagram
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