Staci Noblett

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Our dear darling glamour hottie Sabine Jemeljanova sure likes she’s been getting some sun of late. I suppose the life of a really good looking woman with an amazing body is slightly different than that of a blogger built in the shape of a Hostess Sno-Ball. Hence, she is thirty-seven shades darker than I. But, more importantly, can Sabine’s tanned tubes stand up to the outrageously sextastic female form of Staci Noblett, a girl so hot she sounds like your favorite dish at a restaurant.

Two girls, four funbags, only one winner. You must decide. It is your sacred Ego-civic duty. Between these two fair lasses, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

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It’s time. To pit the blessed peaches of two beautiful women head to head, chest to chest, lust to lust in sweet contest we like to call Battle of the Boobtastic. The world has yet to invent a finer means for qualitatively distinguishing between two sextastic ladies with mighty fine funbags than this here little weekly contest. Though I’m quite certain scientists from around the world are working on a competitive offering.

This week’s voters challenge places the beautiful Poppy Rivers in direct DD conflict with Staci Noblett, no stranger to contests of the chest puppy variety. While I would shank any one of you in the showers for five minutes alone with either of these two wicked hot ladies, only one may walk home with the trophy, the other, perhaps wishing she had stayed in laser hair removal school. Alas, the giggles and tears of life intermix on every occasion. So, I ask you, as your most important decision of the day, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

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There’s nothing truly Thanksgiving about this particular Battle of the Boobtastic save for the large number of turkey day puns and metaphors I will likely exploit. Like talking about the hen pecking commencing between Staci Noblett and her cornucopia of chestal goodies and Sabine Jemeljanova, a girl who could make even a Pilgrim feel, well, unpuritanical.

On this day of giving thanks we feel gratefu that assaults of the virtual funbag kind result in perhaps a bit of disappointment, but never any real harm. These are the best kinds of conflicts, where even the loser can be cheered up with a few minutes of high-spirited motorboating. But, alas, even on this day of coming together, we must choose sides. One set of winners, one set of knockers that take home the boobie prize. So, in your humblest of opinions, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

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I don’t care how they spell their names, because I spell them S-E-X-Y. Sure, hot glamour models have been using oddly formed versions of traditional female names since the dawn of time, or the dawn of Page 3, but there’s no denying that they also bring bodaciously formed versions of the fine female body, and in the weekly Battle of the Boobtastic, that’s all that matters.

This week’s contest of the chestal goodies pits legend Lacey Banghard and her melons o’ plenty up against fair-haired beauty Staci Noblett and her poolside perfection. It’s truly a Solomon-esque decision. Thankfully, my name is not Solomon. But, today, you must take her place. Between these two topless bathing beauties, whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

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Say what you will about women with amazing funbags, and I can think of about ten thousand wonderful things to say, but they are steady in their purpose, and when pitted against one another in a chesty battle, the fur will most definitely fly. I might be generalizing a tad. But that’s the nature of sport, with no physical competition more demanding or more intense than our very own Battle of the Boobtastic.

This week we feature the eminently hot bodied Staci Noblett mounting her mammaries against one of our truly favorite bits of sextastic sunshine, Rhian Sugden. It’s not a battle to the death, but a battle for our hearts and lower minds. Only one girl can come win. Who shall it be? Whose ta-ta’s reign supreme?

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