Honestly now, how is it I didn't get invited to the young Hollywood hotties party hosted by Nylon magazine? Who loves young Hollywood hotties more than me? Okay, well all love them and we all should have been invited, I mean, let's be real, these girls aren't even going to taste those sandwiches you put out. On the other hand, I'd be stuffing them four at a time into my manly leather satchel for no-cost dinners for a week. Even worse than missing the free eats, I missed seeing one of my secret lust crushes, Amber Lancaster, live and in the flesh (wish it were more flesh). Amber has been stealing red carpets these days and her little female peers must be starting to snipe at her behind the scenes (oh, yeah, it gets nasty, like a dozen feral cats in heat slammed together in a small cage). There's just something special about a real ex-cheerleader playing a cheerleader on TV. Oh, yeah, there's also her amazing body and boobtastic.
In addition to Amber Lancaster, other hotties at the p'arty included Billionaire Barbie, who canceled her night school law classes to attend, Aly Michalka and AJ Michalka, two parts of my sister sextastic sandwich fantasy, Emma Roberts, Jamie Chung, Shenae Grimes, Joanna Levesque (JoJo), Lucy Hale, and Kelsey Chow. Enjoy.
Katy Perry, Selena Gomez, and Halston Sage Lead List of Hotties at Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards
Up front let me say, I have no idea who half of the kid-land starlets of today are exactly. It's not exactly as if I'm perusing Nick shows during 'tween hour to get in solid chunks of laugh-track backed junior high comedies. However, my young concubine, the delightful Inez P. Minge, spends most of her days eating bulk licorice and watching Victorious, etc, so I got a bit of the insider's scoop.
At this weekend's Kids' Choice Awards Show, where essentially 12-year old girls pass judgement on what constitutes talent, the usual cast of celebrity characters made their marquee mark on the red carpet and on the stage, and, let's be honest, if 12-year old girls ran the world, we'd be in a shitload of trouble.
Still, the gathering was call to bring together a bunch of Hollywood hotties, young, and a bit older, all dressed in G-rated frocks that showed a lot of leg, but no cleavage, like lip gloss ad girls, cute, but without a hint of sexuality. Included among them were Katy Cocktease, whose team of publicists insist that she's happy, so she must be, Selena Gomez, who can't ever not look hot, Halston Sage, some young sextastic blonde with a made-up name form the Nick stable (and one of the few above 18 in the lineup, so we can actually officially call her 'hot), Ariana Grande, Heidi Klum, Victoria Justice, Ashley Tisdale, and a bevy of other farm system young model-actress types bursting at the teen seems to breakout into famous starlets. A fine mix of innocent with 'just discovered their naughty side' made for a fun evening. Enjoy.
LAST YEAR'S KIDS CHOICE AWARDS WAS ANOTHER BLOWOUT OF BARELY LEGALS