Just by way of disclaimer, there is no specific nudity in the Allure nude issue each May. I know. I feel the same way. Like spending years building a ship in a bottle then shaking it to pieces to express my outrage. Sometimes I just have a Twix bar and a bourbon, that also helps. Still, I applaud a major magazine in the U.S. for going about as far as their advertisers and corporate gate keepers will allow in this continue reign of Puritanism still strong after four hundred years.
And we get some serious skin from Jordana Brewster. Jordana, who first bolted into the big leagues of hotness in Fast and Furious original edition is now pimping out volume seven by means of her PG-13 contorted, though still heavenly hot and tanned unclothed body in the magazine. Nicole Beharie and other join Jordana in this well intentioned pictorial of nekkid hotness in Hollywood. You know, without the fun parts. Like most things in life, a double edged sword. I’ll take the edge closest to Jordana’s bare booty, thank you kindly. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Allure Magazine
The biggest movie of the season, the seventh edition of the Fast and Furious film franchise that prints its own money, premiered in Hollywood and you just knew the lovely ladies would be looking especially lovely for this guys ultimate flick. Not that girls don’t also love 100 minutes straight of car chases, guns, and dudes flexing their oiled pythons and saying dumb one liners, but, if you happen to find such a girl, make her your girlfriend. If she’s an orphan, make her your wife.
Jordana Brewster naturally made one of her rare these days appearances on the red carpet, looking slender hot and showy, along with Michelle Rodriguez who kills in this franchise, Kylie Jenner just because she’s popular and wears short dresses, and some wonderful wunderbar funbag displays from GOT’s Nathalie Emmanuel who just about fell out of her dress top in support of Furious 7. That would have been a Furious 10 in my book. But that joke will be reality in about four more years. This franchise will stop the day it stops making millions or people stop hating cars flipping over being clipped during high speed chases. So, never. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
Jordana Brewster is one of those sextastc celebrities you might forget about while she’s on one of her many longer public eye hiatuses and then suddenly she appears again and you’re reminded about the fast and furious time you first fell in lust with her and how she looks absolutely better than ever, if that’s even possible. It might be in a bikini candid, or even something as simply alluring as these Boston Common fashion photos primarily designed to sell wares to the fairer sex, but you will be reminded of several deep seeded feelings. That’s the instant recall provided by the truly amazing looking women who walk among us.
There was a time I was pretty sure Jordana would be my fourth wife and baby mama, but now I realize I’ll probably have to settle for friends with benefit, meeting as we can at lesser traveled airport hotels to express our mutual passions for one another. So be it. I’m flexible. I mean, I can’t touch my toes, but I will wear a furry costume and cuffs as directed. Jordana, call me. You have my number. I spray painted it on the walk outside your home for easy access. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Boston Common
This movie’s not out until March. I think it’s been delayed a couple times now. But why not take a sneak peek at the lusciously lovely bodies of Katherine Heigl and Jordana Brewster quite two-piece exhibitionist in the film Home Sweet Hell. Not to mention the absolutely stellar bare boobtastic of Catherine Ashton. Say hello to Catherine indeed.
I’m not going to suggest that sextastic celebrities barely clad or not clad at all is a solid reason alone to go see a movie. Though it clearly is. I mean, what else? But I should think leering at some hot veteran Hollywood thespianic bodies ought inspire to make some decision, even if that’s just to announce you’re taking a ten minute break in the loo and don’t wish to be disturbed, even if the next Power Rangers episode is starting. Oh, how I love a good sneak peek! Enjoy.
Photo Credit: “Home Sweet Hell”
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I don’t have time to look, well, the energy, but I’ll assume Baby2Baby is some awesome cause perhaps serving babies everywhere. Maybe like some milk delivery service. Something worthy of bringing out the super hotties in Hollywood to support. And boy did the lovely ladies of Tinsel Town come out in cleavy droves to this event looking incredibly.
Try on for size Jessica Alba, Ashley Benson, Kate Hudson, Jordana Brewster, and Molly Sims for a little sextastic aperitif. All of these ladies looking more than stellar, all well worthy of carrying my child at some point in the future, maybe even starting today, ladies? Oh, the decked out hotties all fecund and ready to help me amass my small army of Egotastic offspring. My heart swells with pride. Let’s just say it’s my heart for now. Hot moms really are heaven on earth. Enjoy.
Jordana Brewster is gettin’ my pressure up in Cosmo. (Popoholic)
Summer Glau fills my pants with serenity. (TMZ)
I’m so glad we can all revel in Britney Spear‘s ta-tas again. (Drunken Stepfather)
Alyssa Barbara in tiny lingerie? Yes, please and thank you. (Hollywood Tuna)
Gwyneth Paltrow is nippin in that dress something serious. (The Superficial)
WWE Divas pose in skimpy Halloween costumes. (COED)
Terran Hilows shows off her basketballs in these swimsuit pics. (Busted Coverage)
We simply don’t get enough chances to see Jordana Brewster showing off her lovelies. The Fast and Furious actress maintains one of the finest au natural bodies in Tinsel Town, even and especially post-MILFtastic, but she’s rarely in the public eye and even more rarely out and about on the beaches of Hawaii preening about in a little wet bikini. Oh, my, that is a nice little leering view of Jordana Brewster’s perfect 30-something mommy keester. I wish I could frame it and put it on my wall and then slap it every time I needed good luck like the Fighting Irish before running onto the field. It’s perfect.
Jordana Brewster and her slender un-enhanced body may not be for everyone, but for the discerning connoisseur of fine semi-Latina ladies with swimsuit model lineage, oh, man, she really is right up there with some of the best. We would make many babies together, in rapid succession. Enjoy.