The Pirelli Calendar is officially back. As in, it’s been publishing every single year now for decades, but there have been times it decided that hot topless supermodels were somehow passé and it needed to up it’s artistic and hyper-stylized cred. Why? Nobody knows. I’m just glad that short lived era is over. There’s nothing like art to ruin a perfectly blessed pair of funbags.
The Pirelli Calendar 2015 features a bevy of hot European models, one for each month, flashing their bare puppies and all over hot bodies for the love of keeping track of days. Adriana Lima, Raquel Zimmermann and Isabeli Fontana are among the world class models baring their yams for the Pirelli auto parts folks. They all joined up in Milan recently to celebrate. I wasn’t invited to that shindig for some reason, but that doesn’t take away my enthusiasm in turning the pages of my ill-gotten Pirelli calendar here in the Egotastic penthouse basement offices. Onward and ta-ta upward in 2015. Enjoy.
In case your electronic buzzer wasn’t going off, do be aware that we are currently experiencing Fashion Week in New York. They seem to happen all the time, but this one in early September is clearly the biggest of the year in the Big Apple. Everybody who’s anybody in the world of fashion, or what I like to call, expensive clothes, is in town this week for all the parties, fashion shows, and naturally, the good drugs.
The Week kicked off with the Media Fashion Awards, one of the many pseudo awards shows planned for the week as an excuse to find a corporate sponsor position. I could care less how fake it was when hotties Kate Upton, Gigi Hadid, Kendall Jenner, Alessandra Ambrosio, and Dakota Fanning walked through the front door with invitations. That makes it a party right there. Or an award show. Had I been invited, I would’ve have worn my ascot and talked about the wonderful new looks this year that kind of look like the wonderful new looks of a couple years ago. I can fake it for the love of the sextastic. Enjoy.
If you can imagine cultural taste as defined by 11 year old girls, you have your Radio Disney Music Awards right there. And while the youthful celebrities in attendance did their best to follow the Disney policy of zero signs of sexuality on the set, there were nevertheless some hotties who were unable to contain their natural good looks. Gigi Hadid, SI model, for one, looked rather stunning. Along with Ava Sambora, Maia Mitchell, and Zendaya Coleman, the good looking set were well represented amid the tween pop cultural fan base.
I imagine if you actually listened to Radio Disney, your head would probably implode within seven to nine minutes from the negative cranial pressure, but in the interim, if you happen to catch a few of these future celebrity sextastics, at least you could go knowing the future is bright. Enjoy.
As you know, in any civilized society, we don’t actually let kids make choices. We tell them to shut up and play their video games. But on one night a year, Nickelodeon gets them all together and let’s decide on a whole bunch of inane prizes to give out to actors from their favorite TV shows which I think all happen to be on Nickelodeon as well. I think that’s just a coincidence. Viacom is a powerful beast. But, on the upside, each year brings us a bunch of hotties young and sort of still young to show off in typically brightly colored outfits on the red carpet, before heading in to pretend to be super surprised at being slimed.
This year’s cast of great looking starlets and stars of about to be included Ariana Grande, Peyton List, Victoria Justice, Gigi Hadid, Debby Ryan and many more. The red carpet always look like a long long of girls who turned me down for the prom because they were too good looking or too popular or they were concerned that my high school nickname was ‘Handsy’. Go figure. Enjoy.
The best thing to come out of the S.I. Swimsuit season is when some of the newer models featured in the edition move on to bigger and bolder photoshoots in other publications. Like the sextastic Gigi Hadid who exploded onto the scene last month with her stunning swimwear photos, and now has upgraded her status, edging close to birthday suit goodness in this mini pictorial for V Man magazine, featuring the L.A. celebrity daughter sweetheart nearly showing off all her sweethearts in the boudoir.
There’s nothing more rewarding to me than watching crazy hot young women coming into their own before the cameras. I feel like everybody is doing their job like a fine tuned watch. Hopefully, soon, we’ll see Gigi Hadid wearing nothing but a watch. That’d be nice. Enjoy.
Hold on tight, because this week’s Sextastic Twitpic Roundup contains so much celebrity skin that you’ll, oh, I don’t know, do something horrible to yourself that you’ll likely regret in the morning, though with a secret, wistful smile. So it’s not all bad. What can you do when the hot ladies of Tinsel Town are demanding you ogle them at each and every step of their skin-baring lives? You truly are the victim, sir.
This week’s Roundup includes Paris Hilton covered topless, Ariana Grande ever hot, Arianny Celeste and Jessa Hinton in lingerie, Alexa Vega showing off her body in blessed stretch pants, Rihanna competing in the bikini competition of social media against the two-piece likes of Anastasia Ashley, Nina Agdal, and some killer beachy candids from Gigi Hadid, and Kaili Thorne showing off her nipples. There’s so much more, you really do owe it to all the athletes wore wore stellar makeup and costumes in Sochi to check out each and every one of these faptastic social media shared photos. Enjoy.