With the summer movie season heating up, all the tentpoles will be raised, including those assisted by the forecast for the best skin reveals on screen by our prurient cinematic friends at Mr. Skin. Those people have the movie review process nailed down to a science that actually makes sense. How much amazingly hot celebrity skin will I see. Now, let’s get down to assigning the stars.
This week’s Mr. Skin Minute includes Charlize Theron bad-ass in Mad Max but not nekkid, but quite full-frontal in The Devil’s Advocate on Blu-Ray, Charlotte Hope and her nubile bar body on HBO, and Laura Donnelly in Outlander on Starz milking up a storm with her epic working teats. It’s sixty seconds of must-see skin that you really, well, must see.
And while you’re at it, be sure to get the entire library cornucopia of Mr. Skin celebrity nekkid photos and videos by becoming a valued member of that skinematic society. It is quite the fun ride, daily, weekly, whenever. Get on board before all the good nekkid women are taken. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: Mr. Skin
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I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was man-geeked to see Mad Max this coming weekend. I’m generally in the camp of decrying remakes of previous films if only because, yeah, it’s already been done. I know this one is better, but that one was good. Surely there’s a better new story to be told. Regardless, I never let my principles get in the way of a good time at the movies. Or, they become overwhelmed when movie premieres bring out the super hotties like Charlize Theron, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Riley Keough, and Abbey Lee to smile, show off outrageously hot bodies, and entice you to see their movie.
Now, it’s not like these super babes actually show up to theater seated next to you. Though I assure you in my mind Rosie is to my right, Charlize is to my left, and I suppose that beady eyed Sean Penn is a couple seats over giving me a case of the roid rage stare downs. Nevertheless, I make it work. It’s the movies. Anything is possible. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet/PacificCoastNews
Happy days are here again. Or the happiest of days. Fridays. When I insert my retractable claw hand into the Reader Finds email bag and find what bits of skin-filled goodies all of you have submitted in this past week. I feel like Satan reaching into his bag of souls to see which politician he pulls out. Only, my bag has even more boobs than his.
This week’s Reader Finds includes Charli XCX in a revealing boobtastic top (thank you to EgoReader ‘Joseph H.’), Alyssa Milano in one of her classic topless skinematics (blessings of ta-ta’s from ‘Elsinore’), Maude Hirst and Alyssa Sunderland in the lovely short lived Vikings (Nordic takk to ‘Stephen’), Charlize Theron topless in Reindeer Games (oh, I remember, via ‘Rony E.’), Elizabeth Olsen delightfully hot cleavage (shoop shoop submitted by ‘Benny’), Gisele Bundchen young see-through top modeling, maybe slightly altered (lovely leers via ‘Bill’), Jordana Brewster bikini goodnes on the silver screen (kindly gifted by ‘Bono’), Julian Wells topless perfection in Entourage (a visual goody from ‘Amanda’), Kendall Jenner near nip slips in her GQ shoot (angled in by ‘Anon’), Krista Allen double D’s in a double dose of skinematics (seismic shifts from ‘Owen’), Lauren Hays lovely topless onscreen (kudos to ‘Kenneth’), Mai Ping Guo who we saw in a bikini this week now quite nekkid (lovely discovery by ‘Reg W.’), Olivia Wilde thong peek on Instagram (much ado about thongs from ‘Ed’), and Zia Gorog wicked hot body in Playboy (added to the archives by ‘David M.’). If you can’t handle it, just take a nap right now off to the side. The adventurous among us are coming through to reap the visual harvest. Enjoy.
I’ll pre-apologize for the title. Then I’ll admit this is not my favorite Charlize Theron shoot ever, but Charlize is one of my favorite hotties ever, so it all evens out in some splendid explosions of veteran hotness and leather in W Magazine.
Not even Penn taint can really thwart my feelings of passion for this statuesque blonde, set to join the Forties and Faptastic club this coming August. She has always been a picture of beauty, not to mention the image many men have made babies to. Perhaps many women as well. Just one 5’10″ bit of female goodness who makes me wish I were her traveling cabana boy. Yes, Ms. Theron. Right away, Ms. Theron. Are you sure that’s where the bee actually stung you, Ms. Theron? I’m so so ready for this. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: W Magazine
I try to divorce the woman from the work as much as I possibly can. It seems only fair as I ask people to judge me on my character, and not just my record of completely misunderstood peeping tom arrests. So, I’m trying my best to ignore the fact that out of a billion eligible men, including myself, the veteran hottie Charlize Theron has decided that Sean Penn is the man to whom she wishes to give her body and soul and, oh, that body. I’m not one of those maniacal egomaniacs who thinks the girl should always be with me. I mean, I do beg, but I understand my realistic ceiling. Still, maybe a guy with a less extensive track record of beating up on the ladies? Charlize, we all care about you, for you, and naturally, want to see you nekkid and healthy.
Featured in the current edition of Esquire magazine, Charlize shows why late 30′s is nothing for a genetically blessed hottie in terms of keeping up with the sextastic of the girls a decade younger. The South African thespianic is looking mighty fine in just her bra for this cheeky black and white spread. It’s time likes these I remember my vow to humanity to invent a lickable computer monitor that tastes just like what you’re viewing. For now, my prurient thoughts remain a generation ahead of available technology. Enjoy.
US Weekly may not be a periodical for the male of the species, or the thoughtful, but any magazine outlet that is putting together photos of sextastic celebrities for a collection of Hot Hollywood bodies is definitely worth perusing. Let’s see here, Brooklyn Decker, Heidi Klum, Charlize Theron, Jessica Alba, Lea Michele, Sofia Vergara. Check check check, this sounds like the list I made for my imaginary pool party this summer.
While US weekly sort of compiled some existing photos of each of these crazy hot famous lady folk, I would certainly volunteer to update their hot body photos with some shots of my own taking with my fingers forming a square and me making a click sound as I tell the girls to make love to the camera, literally. I suppose this is why I lost my photographers license at the last hearing. Enjoy.
Talk about your sirens of the sea. And I do often talk about them myself. Charlize Theron continued shooting for something important I’m sure along the beach in Miami in various swimsuit wardrobe changes. Her favorite being her ride atop a Jet Ski as that’s how I imagine she show’s up at my lagoon front abode ready to throw me down on the ground and force me to do things my mother always told me would make me an indecent fellow.
Charlize Theron looks like a super fun gal who keeps herself in incredible shape. I can’t believe her current choice of boyfriends, but then I never really do. I’m here for you, Charlize. Bring a few of those tight swimsuits and an open mind and Im prepared to show you the best three to five minutes of your life. Enjoy.