Beyonce

Beyonce Cleavage Will Travel

Beyonce is back one-hundred percent in the game of exhibition, which is where she belongs, because this MILLF has a fifteen year track record now of one of the curviest, most bodacious bodies in pop music. She may not always lead the way in terms of in your face show-off raunch skills, but she has always been head of the class in swell hourglass curves that her peers find hard to match, certainly without artificial enhancements to the tops and bottoms.

Beyonce’s latest and greatest bit of look at me now involves her cleavetastic vacation photos. She’s somewhere tropical and sharing leers of her sweet chesty melons because, dammit, that’s just what nice girls do. Not necessarily good girls, but nice girls. There is a difference, though I suppose both ultimately deserve sainthood. Keep up the good work, Beyonce. You’re gifts are intense, share them all with the world and you can be my hero. That’s a something. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Beyonce

Hey, Bill, Whatcha Watching? (VIDEO)

I got so many positive responses last week to my little bit about what I was watching online on a Sunday evening, I decided to give you my list again. Granted, the bulk of that positive response came in emails from my Uncle Steve followed by, can you help me out with a few bucks, but I like to think his compliments were independently valid. I like sharing. It makes me feel like I’m part of a global campaign to help people see more hot women. If the UN had any legitimacy, I would already be named an ambassador.

As to what I’ve been watching the past several hours, well, how about Candice Swanepoel oiled and glittery booty, Beyonce bikini body hot in her Standing on the Sun video, Stephanie Pratt showing off like a naughty schoolgirl for the Brits, and Doutzen Kroes teasing in black lingerie and stockings. As you can tell, my tastes are diverse. I invite you to share in my virtual playlist. Enjoy.

Beyonce Super Cleavage Battles the Demons of the Yeezy Booty Debacle

I’d be remiss in my duties if I didn’t give a shoutout to Beyonce boobtastic, on display after that hideous Kanye West Fashion Week charade of shoes. The entire episode might have been one of the worst events in the history of the human race had it not been for Beyonce showing off her chesty goodness after leaving the show. I’k pretty sure she knows Kanye’s booties suck. But she wasn’t going to waste the highly publicized event without showing off some of the skin that has helped to make Beyonce one of the premiere music acts in the world.

When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When it gives you overpriced suede booties by Yeezus, you turn it into the chance to remind 50 million men why they dream of you many a cold evening. The Sasha Fierce funbags are quite the kicker. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews

Beyonce Sexy Legs, Charli XCX See-Through Dress, and Chrissy Teigen at Women in Music Luncheon (Where Was My Invite???)

Beyonce and her hot curvy body and killer legs, Charli XCX in a see-through lace dress, and Chrissy Teigen just doing her hot girl thing. Now that’s what I call a get-together. Sort of like a typical Saturday night if you don’t count the lack of sextastic women showing off their flesh but do include Pink Dot delivering Gino’s Pizza Rolls and Beer.

These lovely ladies and others all gather for the Women in Music something something. It’s important that we do honor women in music as it is the content genre that flashes the most sexually charged body part shows. What’s happened in popular music in the past decade is nothing if not astounding in terms of turning pop music into shows that you formerly had to head to your buddy’s bachelor party in Laughlin to see. Sure, it might be corrupting a generation of tweens, but that’s not a huge price to pay for prurient oglers to get to see hot bodies in hardly any clothing twerking and preening and simulating sex on the stage. I’ve been to the Women in Accounting luncheon. Trust me, the Women in Music is far more titillating. No offense, Lady CPAs.

Photo Credit: Splash News / INFphoto.com / GSI

Beyonce Showing Off Her Legs Outside Harry’s Bar in London

Beyonce showed up at Harry’s Bar in London and forgot to bring her pants. Well, I doubt she forgot. She probably figured there would be paps there to take pictures of her best feature: her legs. They are quite extraordinary. Her thighs would win the Pepsi challenge against pretty much any other thighs out there. They are curvy but still muscular from all of that dancing and whatnot. Beyonce and I are both from Houston and we’ve grown up together, in a way. She grew up into a sexy international pop star and me into a chubby writer who chronicles the hottness of celebrities like her. I’ve had a major thing for her since I first saw her perform with Destiny’s Child when we were both teenagers. Now we both live in New York City but I keep my distance. Jay Z scares me. A lot.

I have to resign myself to admiring her from afar and dreaming of what could have been had we met before she was famous and if she had a thing for nerdy Cuban guys.

Watching Men Watch Her Breasts And Other Fine Things To Ogle

A busty woman wore a low cut top and a secret camera and recorded all the leers in one single day. (TheMighty)

Beyonce looks hot as F in a sexy white bikini. (Huffington Post)

Marloes Horst shows her stuff in lingerie for Free People. (Drunken Stepfather)

DJ Colleen Shannon has her turntables out for this lingerie shoot. (Hollywood Tuna)

Hannah Davis in a bikini will make your day. (Popoholic)

Diddy weighs in on the J-Lo vs. Kim booty debate. (The Superficial)

Jennifer Love Hewitt in glorious bouncing gif form. (COED)

Vietjet is my new favorite airline with their bikini stewardesses. (The Chive)

Beyonce Looks Hot in a Bikini Top in Portofino

Hall of fame hottie and Mrs. Jay Z, Beyonce, was looking incredibly sexy in a bikini top in Portofino, Italy. She and Jay are vacationing in Italy, like you do, when Beyonce wore this little colorful number. It’s a shame that we don’t get to see Beyonce in a bikini more often. We all know that she’s got a killer body from the many scantily clad videos she has made over the years. Maybe it’s because they live in chilly New York or that they just have really tight security when they go to the beach but it is definitely a rare sight. I would encourage Beyonce to let those funbags out for air while she’s in Italy. After all, that’s what the Europeans do and when in Portofino, so as the…er…Portofinians, (Portofinites?), do.

Beyonce and I are both from Houston and I’ve only been in the same room with her once. Unfortunately, she was fourteen and I was seventeen and Destiny’s Child was performing in a high school gym. I remember thinking, “Man, that girl is going to be really hot someday.” And so it was.