I’d be remiss in my duties if I didn’t give a shoutout to Beyonce boobtastic, on display after that hideous Kanye West Fashion Week charade of shoes. The entire episode might have been one of the worst events in the history of the human race had it not been for Beyonce showing off her chesty goodness after leaving the show. I’k pretty sure she knows Kanye’s booties suck. But she wasn’t going to waste the highly publicized event without showing off some of the skin that has helped to make Beyonce one of the premiere music acts in the world.
When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. When it gives you overpriced suede booties by Yeezus, you turn it into the chance to remind 50 million men why they dream of you many a cold evening. The Sasha Fierce funbags are quite the kicker. Enjoy.
Photo Credit: PacificCoastNews
Beyonce and her hot curvy body and killer legs, Charli XCX in a see-through lace dress, and Chrissy Teigen just doing her hot girl thing. Now that’s what I call a get-together. Sort of like a typical Saturday night if you don’t count the lack of sextastic women showing off their flesh but do include Pink Dot delivering Gino’s Pizza Rolls and Beer.
These lovely ladies and others all gather for the Women in Music something something. It’s important that we do honor women in music as it is the content genre that flashes the most sexually charged body part shows. What’s happened in popular music in the past decade is nothing if not astounding in terms of turning pop music into shows that you formerly had to head to your buddy’s bachelor party in Laughlin to see. Sure, it might be corrupting a generation of tweens, but that’s not a huge price to pay for prurient oglers to get to see hot bodies in hardly any clothing twerking and preening and simulating sex on the stage. I’ve been to the Women in Accounting luncheon. Trust me, the Women in Music is far more titillating. No offense, Lady CPAs.
Photo Credit: Splash News / INFphoto.com / GSI
Beyonce showed up at Harry’s Bar in London and forgot to bring her pants. Well, I doubt she forgot. She probably figured there would be paps there to take pictures of her best feature: her legs. They are quite extraordinary. Her thighs would win the Pepsi challenge against pretty much any other thighs out there. They are curvy but still muscular from all of that dancing and whatnot. Beyonce and I are both from Houston and we’ve grown up together, in a way. She grew up into a sexy international pop star and me into a chubby writer who chronicles the hottness of celebrities like her. I’ve had a major thing for her since I first saw her perform with Destiny’s Child when we were both teenagers. Now we both live in New York City but I keep my distance. Jay Z scares me. A lot.
I have to resign myself to admiring her from afar and dreaming of what could have been had we met before she was famous and if she had a thing for nerdy Cuban guys.
A busty woman wore a low cut top and a secret camera and recorded all the leers in one single day. (TheMighty)
Beyonce looks hot as F in a sexy white bikini. (Huffington Post)
Marloes Horst shows her stuff in lingerie for Free People. (Drunken Stepfather)
DJ Colleen Shannon has her turntables out for this lingerie shoot. (Hollywood Tuna)
Hannah Davis in a bikini will make your day. (Popoholic)
Diddy weighs in on the J-Lo vs. Kim booty debate. (The Superficial)
Jennifer Love Hewitt in glorious bouncing gif form. (COED)
Vietjet is my new favorite airline with their bikini stewardesses. (The Chive)
Hall of fame hottie and Mrs. Jay Z, Beyonce, was looking incredibly sexy in a bikini top in Portofino, Italy. She and Jay are vacationing in Italy, like you do, when Beyonce wore this little colorful number. It’s a shame that we don’t get to see Beyonce in a bikini more often. We all know that she’s got a killer body from the many scantily clad videos she has made over the years. Maybe it’s because they live in chilly New York or that they just have really tight security when they go to the beach but it is definitely a rare sight. I would encourage Beyonce to let those funbags out for air while she’s in Italy. After all, that’s what the Europeans do and when in Portofino, so as the…er…Portofinians, (Portofinites?), do.
Beyonce and I are both from Houston and I’ve only been in the same room with her once. Unfortunately, she was fourteen and I was seventeen and Destiny’s Child was performing in a high school gym. I remember thinking, “Man, that girl is going to be really hot someday.” And so it was.
While the MTV VMAs represent some kind of Fall of the Roman Empire, the lynchpin of the downfall of a civilized society, to be replaced by craptastic auditory experiences and glitter, there’s no doubt the annual event brings out the finest in pop diva competition for eyeballs, hence, lots of skin. There’s but a few teensy tiny number of popular music artists earning distinction from their vocal talents. The rest are competing for the dollar bills from the guys in the front row with the sweaty jowls. Me first among them.
So many hotties out at the 2014 MTV VMAs tonight, keep attuned to this updating gallery for some of the best of them, including Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Iggy Azalea, Jennifer Lopez, Rita Ora, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, and more. It’s a night to remember, if you remembered your earplugs! Enjoy.