Beyonce showed up at Harry's Bar in London and forgot to bring her pants. Well, I doubt she forgot. She probably figured there would be paps there to take pictures of her best feature: her legs. They are quite extraordinary. Her thighs would win the Pepsi challenge against pretty much any other thighs out there. They are curvy but still muscular from all of that dancing and whatnot. Beyonce and I are both from Houston and we've grown up together, in a way. She grew up into a sexy international pop star and me into a chubby writer who chronicles the hottness of celebrities like her. I've had a major thing for her since I first saw her perform with Destiny's Child when we were both teenagers. Now we both live in New York City but I keep my distance. Jay Z scares me. A lot.
I have to resign myself to admiring her from afar and dreaming of what could have been had we met before she was famous and if she had a thing for nerdy Cuban guys.