Beyonce showed up at Harry’s Bar in London and forgot to bring her pants. Well, I doubt she forgot. She probably figured there would be paps there to take pictures of her best feature: her legs. They are quite extraordinary. Her thighs would win the Pepsi challenge against pretty much any other thighs out there. They are curvy but still muscular from all of that dancing and whatnot. Beyonce and I are both from Houston and we’ve grown up together, in a way. She grew up into a sexy international pop star and me into a chubby writer who chronicles the hottness of celebrities like her. I’ve had a major thing for her since I first saw her perform with Destiny’s Child when we were both teenagers. Now we both live in New York City but I keep my distance. Jay Z scares me. A lot.
I have to resign myself to admiring her from afar and dreaming of what could have been had we met before she was famous and if she had a thing for nerdy Cuban guys.
A busty woman wore a low cut top and a secret camera and recorded all the leers in one single day. (TheMighty)
Beyonce looks hot as F in a sexy white bikini. (Huffington Post)
Marloes Horst shows her stuff in lingerie for Free People. (Drunken Stepfather)
DJ Colleen Shannon has her turntables out for this lingerie shoot. (Hollywood Tuna)
Hannah Davis in a bikini will make your day. (Popoholic)
Diddy weighs in on the J-Lo vs. Kim booty debate. (The Superficial)
Jennifer Love Hewitt in glorious bouncing gif form. (COED)
Vietjet is my new favorite airline with their bikini stewardesses. (The Chive)
Hall of fame hottie and Mrs. Jay Z, Beyonce, was looking incredibly sexy in a bikini top in Portofino, Italy. She and Jay are vacationing in Italy, like you do, when Beyonce wore this little colorful number. It’s a shame that we don’t get to see Beyonce in a bikini more often. We all know that she’s got a killer body from the many scantily clad videos she has made over the years. Maybe it’s because they live in chilly New York or that they just have really tight security when they go to the beach but it is definitely a rare sight. I would encourage Beyonce to let those funbags out for air while she’s in Italy. After all, that’s what the Europeans do and when in Portofino, so as the…er…Portofinians, (Portofinites?), do.
Beyonce and I are both from Houston and I’ve only been in the same room with her once. Unfortunately, she was fourteen and I was seventeen and Destiny’s Child was performing in a high school gym. I remember thinking, “Man, that girl is going to be really hot someday.” And so it was.
While the MTV VMAs represent some kind of Fall of the Roman Empire, the lynchpin of the downfall of a civilized society, to be replaced by craptastic auditory experiences and glitter, there’s no doubt the annual event brings out the finest in pop diva competition for eyeballs, hence, lots of skin. There’s but a few teensy tiny number of popular music artists earning distinction from their vocal talents. The rest are competing for the dollar bills from the guys in the front row with the sweaty jowls. Me first among them.
So many hotties out at the 2014 MTV VMAs tonight, keep attuned to this updating gallery for some of the best of them, including Ariana Grande, Taylor Swift, Demi Lovato, Iggy Azalea, Jennifer Lopez, Rita Ora, Beyonce, Miley Cyrus, and more. It’s a night to remember, if you remembered your earplugs! Enjoy.
Like most husband wives, Beyonce and Jay Z are spending their summer on tour making millions and showing off their bodies. Well, thankfully, just Beyonce on that latter front. And, man, what a MILFy hot body it is.
For anybody who though (like me) that Beyonce might change after motherhood, um, wrong. She’s only gotten better. And that magical booty of hers, only fuller and funner. The way she shook it last night to open up the couple’s big On The Run Tour this summer means that everybody who buys even an overpriced ticket will be getting their money’s worth. If only it were possible to build a home in that bottomside, I could live happily ever after. Nice work, Beyonce. Enjoy.
In the new edition of Out magazine, which is about what it sounds like it’s about, Beyonce says that women should own their own sexuality. I don’t even know what this means, but I like it. Especially if that cliche comes with Beyonce holding her own stellar boobtastic in a photoshoot for the magazine where you can imagine Beyonce as a blonde. I must admit I’ve never thought of Beyonce as a blonde, then again, I’m rarely looking at her hair.
As a rule, whatever Beyonce supports that involves her taking off her top, I support. I’m certainly not going to tell her to put her clothes back on. It would be nice if she actually moved her hand-bra so we could partake in her full delights. For that cause, I would actually make a cash donation. I am a simple man to figure out. Enjoy.