Britney Spears Hits the Clubs After Being Ordered to Take Drug and Alcohol Tests

Okay, so normally I won't dedicate an entire post to Britney Spears' long and drawn out meltdown unless it features some kind of appearance from a nipple or vagina, but this story is just too precious not to share. Yesterday, the judge in Britney and K-Fed's custody battle awarded temporary custody to the King of All Douchebags, and ordered Britney to undergo drug and alcohol tests twice a week. So what did Britney do? She went out clubbing. Yes, she's that retarded.

Not only is spening a night out on the clubs probably not the most appropriate way to celebrate (?) losing your kids to some reject no one even thought could spell his own name (all four letters of it), but going out to the most popular clubs, when the entire international tabloid media is following your every step, doesn't quite make much sense either.

Then again, Britney's lawyers, managers, and pretty much anyone else who might have a fucking brain in their head have long since left Britney to wollow in her own crapulence, so what did you expect she would do? Personally, I would have gone with either another crazed head-shaving episode, or a shotgun in her mouth - but only because she thought the long hard tube was something else...

And you thought Anna Nicole was nuts. Here's the video of Britney's big night out.

And here are some recent pictures of Britney Spears in all her flabbiness, hanging out in her underwear in the backyard of her new mansion.