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Best Christmas Gift Ever: A 3DS Full of Porn

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bill-swift - December 31, 2013

As gameaholics will know, the 3DS hardly erupted in a cataclysmic success-explosion when it arrived in 2011. It was more of a pitiful damp squib, like a gnat lighting its farts or something. After a craptacular start, though, it defied the naysayers, and now boasts a robust complement of games and an impressive sales record.

But there's one area in which the revitalized console is sorely lacking: good ol' fashioned nekkid porny porn. It is a Nintendo console, after all, and their strict 'panties on, dicks away' policy is legendary. Which makes raunchy little news oddities like this all the more entertaining.

Here's the heartwarming tale of a young boy's favorite Christmas memory: opening --what what was allegedly-- a spangly new 3DS and finding images of assorted dangly, wobbly, fleshy bits on it. IGN reports that the offending porn-infused handheld was bought at a Virginia Walmart, 'on the assumption that it was new.' It wasn't, though, unless Santa really is the horny old bastard the stories suggest.

Another inadvertent SD card-related peepshow, then. Still, this may catch on for embarrassed/lazy-ass fathers in need of an alternative manner of relaying that most important of life lessons. "Birds and the bees? Eff that, here's a DS full of tits. You'll figure it out."

Via IGN, image from Etsy.

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