Amber Heard No Longer Bisexual

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elliot-wolf - November 15, 2017

The last thing I want to hear right before I de-pants my date at the end of the day is her disclosing that she’s unsure if she’s really into men or not. Believing that I would be up for that kind of buffoonery will get you kicked out of whichever 2-star motel next to a Denny’s I just rented for us. Not labeling your sexuality has become so hot and trendy that even the celebrities are doing it. Even Amber Heard. In 2010 she identified as bisexual, but not anymore. She jumped the shark when she penned the open letter on domestic abuse in regards to Depp last year. If she waited a little longer she could have cashed out all her “oppressed by men” tokens for a bigger sympathy pay out. She would have had a starring role in the toxic masculinity takedown in Hollywood we are experiencing now. But in an effort to not be overshadowed by the oppression of others she has come out of the closet with a stance on her own sexuality that no one cares about. You’re into women. Great. Amber will be back throwing herself at the next billionaire after all the ladies who hit on her at the bar always look like Rosie O’Donnell. 

Amber Heard isn’t interested in giving her sexuality any kind of label.

When Allure Magazine asked the 31-year-old if she identified as bisexual, the actress responded, “I don’t identify as anything."

“I’m a person,” explained Heard. “I like who I like." "I happened to be dating a woman, and people started taking pictures of us walking to our car after dinner. I [was] holding her hand, and I realized that I have two options: I can let go of her hand and, when asked about it, I can say that my private life is my private life. Or I could not let go and own it.”

Modern society has proven itself pretty accepting of a lot. Who isn’t gay on TV today. And categories are nothing to be afraid of. It’s the connotation that comes with them that has everyone so upset and on edge. Because as soon as you start saying that hairy fellow driving a tractor trailer identifies as a pansexual because he’s lonely and unable to form lasting relationships with lot lizards that’s when everything starts to get confusing. Can we please call a spade a spade from now on regarding sexuality and attention seeking. Heard would do anything to get the spotlight back on her. 

Photo Credit: Splash News / GQ / Backgrid USA

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