Alessandra Ambrosio Off Duty

You couldn't build a more perfect mom than a Brazilian chick in jean shorts wearing a vintage foreign AC/DC concert tee purchased yesterday at Barney's. Her legs are easily eight furlongs. Her teeth are chiseled square for the perfect blow job or damming up the Amazon in support of industrial deforestation. Her belt cost more than your dad made in his career. Your dad worked hard. Tough luck. He should've looked more like the world's most fuckable model. Me and the Indonesian girl who pre-frayed your shorts would sell our souls just to smell your ass. That might be too much power. Can you shop for tank tops for another couple of hours please? Trust me, the nannies prefer when you're away.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet