Awesomely Horrible Netflix Instant Films: “Popeye”

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Do you remember the first time that you realized that a movie was bad? When we were small children we would watch pretty much anything. We are, as they say, easily amused. I remember exactly the moment I thought, "wow...that movie was a piece of crap." For me, it was early on. In 1980 my mother and uncle took me to the movies to see a film called Popeye. It was going going to be great, right? I was three-years-old and I was a big fan of both Robin Williams and Popeye. I watched the old cartoons on afternoons after day care. I was also a huge fan of William's show Mork and Mindy. Plus, the movie had cost a lot of money to make and was thought to be one of the big blockbusters of 1980. Instead, we got Popeye which is a terrible, terrible movie. Like, bad.

Robin Williams plays Popeye the sailor, a squinty-eyed mumbling weirdo with a penchant for spinach and skinny chicks. He arrives in Sweet Haven and becomes smitten with Olive Oyl, played brilliantly by Shelly Duvall. The only problem is that she is engaged to Bluto, who looks like The Mountain from Game of Thrones. Bluto rules the town with an iron grip, under the direction of the absentee leader The Commodore. Popeye tries to prove his worth to Olive by trying to help her family economically. They then adopt a child named Sweet Pea. Bluto then kidnaps Sweet Pea and Popeye has to get him back with the help of spinach inspired violence.

Did I mention that the movie is a musical? Well, it is. It's pretty bad music with even dumber lyrics. Even thought the movie has decent actors, it's written and directed so badly that there is nothing they can do to save it. It's so overwrought in a way that is less enjoyable than it is like a kick in the nuts. Still, it's a fun movie to watch with your friends as long as you are not sober and like the sound of Robin William's singing voice.