BREAKING NEWS! Lindsay Lohan Pretty Much Works as an Escort Now

Well, if being contractually obligated to shoot a sex scene with three porn stars in The Canyons wasn't enough evidence that Lindsay Lohanwas just about at the nadir stage of her film career by doing pornos in order to stay solvent, now, as Radar is reporting, father-of-the-year (if that year also happened to be taking place during the armageddon) Michael Lohan is suggesting that Lindsay is basically working as a high-priced escort with mom-of-the-year (if that year also happened to be taking place during 28 Weeks Later) Dina Lohan more-or-less acting as her pimp.

That's not to say that Lindsay is pulling an American Gigolo (though saying this is all research for a nonexistent role wouldn't been a decent excuse), as it seems these are just 'dates' that extraordinarily wealthy men pay in the tens of thousands for a nice out on the town with the former well-respected actress, with her acting as arm candy for them. Now, why anyone would pay thousands of dollars for a date with a walking train wreck with a face like the Crypt Keeper, teeth like a British street urchin and a cloud of Hep C hanging over their heads like a Peanuts character, I have no idea.