The New Drug Craze: Snorting Smarties

There is an insidious new drug sweeping across the nation and making addicts of America's youth. No, I'm not talking about meth, molly, or Krokodil. Kids are getting high by snorting Smarties. Yes, the candy. Apparently, these rascally kids are smashing up the tart candy and snorting it like cocaine. There are no active ingredients that would cause a high other than sugar and red dye #5. Schools are sending warnings home to parents to watch out for signs of Smartie abuse. Look out for kids hanging around candy stores or having green powder residue under their noses.

It is a well known fact that teenage kids are stupid. They will do just about anything to get high from sniff airplane glue to lick poisonous toads. Where I grew up in Texas I knew kids that would regularly jump fences and pick magic mushrooms directly off of steaming piles of cow crap. I can sort of see where these kids are coming from. When I was in high school my friends and I went on a Pixy Stix bender that resulted in a bad sugar crash and a buddy of mine peeing blue. True story.