‘Thanks for Sharing’ Threatens to Undermine Everything We Hold Dear (VIDEO)

So, we don't want to alarm you, but there's a movie coming out this fall that threatens to tear apart the very fabric of everything we care about. That's right, the Gwyneth Paltrow vehicle, Thanks for Sharing, seeks to glorify the repression of sexual thoughts. Horrifying, we know.

Right off the bat, Thanks for Sharing's trailer contends that 'abnormal' people think about sex 15 times an hour...on the high side, not the low side. Shit, if that was true, there'd be no Egotastic. None.

Then it shows that movie is about a couple of relatively normal dudes (including Hulkamaniac Mark Ruffalo) and one lady (played by Pink) who just want to have sex all the time. In the film's horrifying dystopian future, thinking about sex constantly and wanting to have sex constantly is some kind of disease, unlike our world where such impulses are pretty normal for all living creatures. Man, sci fi is just getting weirder and weirder.

We were ready to analyze and pick apart the nuances of everything said and all that, but we were too distracted by Paltrow's striptease. You understand.