Spielberg’s Latest Film ‘The Post’ is Coming For All of Your Oscars (VIDEO)

Lock up your Oscars, everyone. This movie is coming for all of them! We all thought that Steven Spielberg's next movie was going to be an adaptation of Ready Player One, and don't worry, that one's still coming out in March. He just also happened to covertly shoot a movie with Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep that is going to win all of the Oscars this year, and maybe even next year too. And some of last year's leftover Oscars as well.

My goodness, this movie was bred in a test tube to win Oscars. It's like once the Harvey Weinstein scandal broke, this movie willed itself into existence. Once the most notorious Oscar whore of all time saw his career tank, the void that created was suddenly and unexpectedly filled with The Post. Seriously, tell me this doesn't win every Oscar. It's a decades-spanning true story about a newspaper and the close relationship between the publisher (Streep) and editor (Hanks) of The Washington Post as they take on the government. It's directed by Steven Spielberg, co-written by the guy who wrote Spotlight, I mean come on!

Sure, this movie will be good like Bridge of Spies, but it's gonna be a snooze too. I mean it, pack a lunch. There's no way this thing clocks in under two and a half hours. The Post opens in NY and LA on December 22 and nationwide on January 12.