‘Resident Evil 7’ Is Starting the Craptastic DLC Game Early

  There’s a lot to bitch about with video games today. It’s not the super simple pastime it used to be, when you’d cruise over to your buddy’s house after school and play a little Streets of Rage or Mario Kart. All was good, you’d pretend you weren’t ogling their hot sister, you’d slam in your Genesis cartridge and off you’d go. That’s all there was to it.  

Not so these days, gents. Gamers face all kinds of first world problem pitfalls. The dastardly bastardry of on-disk DLC, beloved franchises forgetting their roots and descending into me-too shooters, preorder bonus shenanigans… it’s a hard life.

As far as those last two things are concerned, let’s take an ogle at what’s going on with the controversial Resident Evil 7. Yesterday, Xbox Achievements reports, an image was leaked that seemed to show the various DLC packs you can get for preordering the game. These all seem to come from a Survival Pack, with four different offerings: the Recovery, Handgun, Burner and Chem Fluid sets.

Now, no doubt these are half-assed and insignificant offerings, with a few in-game items and such. If nothing else, though, they hint at a couple Resident Evil staple mechanics being alive and well in the new game. That’s good news for those of us pissed at how much the series has changed.

Does this burner pack mean we’ll be able to set those goddamn zombies alight, stopping them coming back in angry-ass, sprinting-like-Usain-Bolt-with-the-shits form again? I darn well hope so. That was awesome in the Resident Evil remake.