Not A Soccer Fan? You Haven’t Played ‘Behold the Kickmen’ Yet

 As Egotastic’s resident Englishman, I’m here to tell you that everything you’ve heard about life in Merry Olde England is just about right. I can’t speak for the state of everyone’s teeth, I guess, but as far as the tea fetish and general shit-tastic weather goes, the clichés are spot on.  

Another one? The boner for soccer the whole country has. The national team are a real slice of shite (see the recent Euro 2016 screw up), but that doesn’t dampen our enthusiasm. The enthusiasm most of us have, at any rate.

Dan Marshall, of Five Size Games, isn’t remotely assed. The indie developer mocked up a little animation, celebrating his complete lack of knowledge of, and enthusiasm for, the sport. It was so damn popular that it’s being fleshed out and released as a full parody soccer game, dubbed Behold the Kickmen.

Now, Marshall might be missing a couple of the finer points. He knows that kicking the ‘ball’ into the ‘net’ is called a ‘goal,’ but that’s as far as it goes. Still, though. Corner kicks, goal kicks and other fancy-ass jargon like that? Who needs it? He’s fluent in the language of piss-takery, and that’s something I can always get behind.

This is the best soccer game I’ve seen in years, and you can check it out in action right here.