Nope, Online Petitions Don’t Work: Another ‘Resident Evil’ Movie Is Coming

  Oh, holy hell. It’s happening again.  

The thing about huge blockbuster video game franchises is, they get way too freaking big for their boots. They get all caught up in the glitz and glamour of tinseltown, the hookers and narcotics addictions and opening shopping malls with huge novelty scissors, that they forget their roots. What they’re really about. Which is being video games. Weren’t you bastards listening to Fergie’s Glamorous? She still goes to Taco Bell, you know. Don't be fooled by the rocks that J-lo's got, either. 

What I’m getting at is, these big names soon become media empires. They also usually suck ass at other media. Movies in particular. Most licensed movies are on Rotten Tomatoes’ shit list for a reason.

Now, I’ve confessed it before, and I’ll confess it again: I quite liked the Resident Evil films. I didn’t think they were good, you understand, but they were harmless, mindless, fairly entertaining spectacles. Like Schwarzenegger’s Conan the Barbarian, with about the same standard of piss-poor acting. That famous laser scene, the would-be gangster who was offered a gun by the special ops and declared ‘mothereffer please… my shit’s custom,’ before busting out his solid-gold pimped out handgun? Alice kicking those zombie dogs in the face in Matrix-tastic slow-mo?  I can get on board with this sort of thing, I really can.

If you can kinda sorta stand these movies too –if you can, say, sit through a whole one without vomiting blood, I’m talking to you—you may want to give this an ogle. Resident Evil: The Final Chapter (sounds like good news either way, actually) hits next year, and star Milla Jovovich has just tweeted a first teaser trailer for our delectation.   

It doesn’t show much of anything at all, which is where the ‘teaser’ part comes in, but we do know there’ll be a lot of zombies and some motorbikes driving pretty darn fast. So there it is.  As GameSpot reports, a more substantial trailer will hit later today, as part of a Facebook Q & A with the actress. Check back for that when it hits.