Lisa Opie Sideboobtastic in Miami

 As I sit here nursing my holiday hangover, I am pleased to discover that there is still one present left to be opened. Lisa Opie did not put forth much effort in the wrapping department; she might as well have just put a bow over each nipple for all the concealment her present top is providing.

Typically I prefer a little mystery to any gift I receive. That way I can at least have some excitement and hope in my life for a short time before the inevitable disappointment comes. No, Uncle Dick, I still do not like the Pistons.

My family still wonders why I ask them not to give me anything as presents. It is because every time I am given a gift I don’t want, I become the ungrateful asshole. Why? I don’t want to be the asshole, but they are making me the asshole. I’m even being the asshole right now for complaining about the things I have been given for free. The only way to avoid it is by putting on the blank smile and giving them the hollow thank you that everyone is waiting for. It is best to bite the bullet so that you can get back to drinking quicker.   

Photo Credit: Splash News