Katie Salmon’s Big Round Butt In Bright Tights

Katie Salmon slipped into my heart quicker than a snake in oil crossing the street. She’s as seductive as they come. I’m staring at her like her hair was made out of serpents. I’m stiff like stone and can’t look away. A beauty like hers only belongs in mythology, so she must be a goddess at the very least. I never would have thought, after years of being alive, that I would finally settle on a favorite shape. I must admit, I’ve had my eye on squares for quite some time, and circles can be truly attractive. But my favorite shape is, by far, that of Katie’s. I don’t know what they would officially call it as a shape, but that kind of perfection needs to be recognized immediately.

I’m pretty round myself. Hopefully Salmon doesn’t shape-shame me. I can almost imagine the exchange being similar to an oval attempting to talk an attractive trapezoid into a date. By default, a trapezoid is more visually appealing and interesting than an oval. But I’d still take my chances at convincing the very visually appealing and complex Katie of going on a date. You don't encounter shapes like her too often.