Irina Shayk and Tamara Ecclestone Among the Hotties at the De Grisogono Fancy Pants Cannes Party

I don't even know what this party is for, but it was hella fancy. Even by Cannes Film Festival standards. It featured not one, but two heiresses flashing their bodies, Tamara Ecclestone and Billionaire Barbie, and, I guess Nicky Hilton was there too but she's so boring I fell asleep trying to find her. Throw in Heidi Klum, Victoria Silvstedt, Irina Shayk, and Kelly Brook, oh, and a bunch of old dudes with tuxedos and sick amounts of cash, and you have a veritable casbah of celebrity hotness transplanted right there last night on the Mediterranean.

Yeah, I'm never going to get invited to parties like this, and even sneaking in will be tough due to  my hyperextended left nut, but, when there is ogling to be done, you've got to play through the pain.