In Celebration Of Helen Flanagan’s Breasts

Helen Flanagan, the Coronation Street starlet who has been tabloid fodder for the last half a decade, has decided to cover up her two greatest assets. News of this startling revelation filtered through Twitter after the buxom beauty revealed that she was "embarrassed" by her ample cleavage.

She has since decided that she will cover up her chest with polo necks and other large jumpers in order to hide her hideously deformed body from prying eyes. Of course there was an outrageous reaction to this news from fans of Helen's chest who were disappointed by her decision to conceal her body. Teenage boys openly wept in the street, in fact men of all ages were seen to be shedding tears and falling to their knees in grief as they asked the lord why she had come to this conclusion.

Yet over the years Helen has provided us with a deluge of memorable moments that have involved her well-endowed front. She has paraded on beaches, plunged her neckline down to her belly button and even worn saucy outfits on ITV's premiere soap. 

In doing this her boobs have helped to elevate her to position of great prominence amongst various newspapers across the globe and has also taken her to the brink of becoming Britain's newest sweetheart.

As such this is a time of celebration. A time to remember all of those occasions when she has deemed it appropriate to wear outlandish garments that a $25 prostitute would be caught dead in and pray that she changes her mind very, very quickly.

Article by Gregory James Wakeman