After the Oscars: Selena Gomez and Jessica Biel and Other Hotties at the Vanity Fair After Party

After the film industry-wide circle jerk concludes, and the lights go down on the Kodak theater, the real parties in Hollywood begin. None more important each year than Vanity Fair event, where the magazine brings out all the big names, most of which weren't actually close to being Oscar worthy, but, still hot, including this year my niece/girlfriend Selena Gomez (yeah, we cut the midget out of the picture), Taylor Swift looking all gold and on top of the world, Natalie Portman fresh off her Best Actress win, Jessica Biel, who I miss dearly, Brooklyn Decker, who I can't get enough of, the Glee sisters, Dianna Agron and Lea Michele, and Nordic blonde twinsies Cameron DiazGwynneth Paltrow, Charlize Theron, veteran hottie, Jennifer Hudson, whose miracle cleavage was one of the stars of the Oscars, and Kate Beckinsale, forever ridiculously sexy. In short, if everybody had stripped off their clothes and jumped into the pool, it would've been very close to a recurring and very private day dream of mine. (Still, Gino's Pizza Rolls nuked from the garage freezer deep thaw, a La-Z-Boy recliner, and a glass of adult milk is nothing to sneeze at for an Oscar's after-party either.) Enjoy.

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