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Zombie Pikachu and the Five Most Terrifying Pokemon

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chris-littlechild - June 22, 2012

I'm not joking. Being remarkably facetious, indubitably. But no, these technicolored 'toon titans are enslaved and coerced into fighting by sadistic humans. Parallels to Jigsaw from the Saw franchise are ghastly enough to defy contemplation, but they're right there. You can envisage him, merrily touching himself in the front row and cheering jovially as a mutated mushroom-thing expels noxious gas in attempt to murderise a raging bear-beast. (I'm operating under the assumption that Pokémon battles take place within the confines of a Ancient Rome-esque arena, with all the melodramatic pomp and theatrical shenanigans associated with such.) In sum, there's a lot of inherent bastardry in the concept of these monstrously lucrative RPGs. You're essentially hunting, simply replacing blood-bleeding bullets of pain in something's eye socket with capturing it and forcing it to maim another beast with exhortations like "Kill it, you hairy little bastard, you! Flamethrower to the 'nads!" As such, I fervently maintain that, despite the bountiful crop of wondrous uber-violence inbound in the form of Gears of War Project, Resident Evil 6 and Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance, gaming belligerence reaches its violent pinnacle with Pokémon. Mock like mocking mocksters of mock if you will, but I have actual proof. I need only the above examples from internet artists of fantastic aptitude (and an admirable fetish for the brain-eating macabre, as you'll see) and a liberal dose of piss-taking.

At just this juncture, you're surely pondering, "Where,prithee, can I see Zombie Pikachu gleefully lapping up the bloody-viscera poolwhere his friend's face once was?Or, indeed, a soldier in a Pikachu costume menacing somebody with a machine gun of some form?"

It's folly to deny that you were thinking precisely that. Fear not, my deviant brethren! Simply peruse the gallery. And be sure to return next time, we pledge to provide even more tremendous/disturbing Poké-fare for your delectation.

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