Sam Robeson - December 11, 2017
Lesser of two evils Gigi Hadid landed a video for the LOVE Advent Calendar, and is making herself stand out from the hordes of other powerful women with important things to say by flashing her armpit hair during a sweaty, empowering, and important workout. She's strong enough for a man. Gentle enough for a whore. Hadid stars in the eleventh LOVE Advent entry for the month-long fame ho extravaganza, and while boxing in an empty room, oh so casually flashes two Brillo Pads under her arms while flexing her muscles like an empowered woman before knowingly demanding that we "Stay strong."Okay. Ew.
Hadid's biggest contribution to feminism to date is being the sister of someone who lured a bunch of date-raping frat boys to the island of wayward douche would-be Fyre festival goers and left them for dead. Believing that not shaving your pits is a declaration of anything besides having hairy armpits is like believing that Kendall Jenner is the key to peaceful police and civilian relations because she eye fucked an officer before offering him a refreshing beverage. But Hadid has upped even this bold social demonstration, because there's something about a woman with pit hair that stirs oddly strong emotions in people. It stirs something in my lower intestine, but for headline-thirsty news outlets, this is a bold stance for some unknown and unspoken thing that's also super important and inspiring. Jessica Chastain is rubbing Rogaine on her pits as we speak. Hadid had this bold and inspiring thing to say:
I love seeing everyone else’s videos. It’s celebratory of epic human beings and always pushes boundaries. The fashion circle is a family, so the Love Advent kind of feels like a Holiday Year Book in a way. Headmaster Grand style.
Epic. But I won't believe that Hadid truly stands for something until she goes all out and lets herself look like Zach Galifianakis. Then I'll know she's serious about whatever the hell she's trying to prove.
Photo Credit: LOVE / YouTube
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