Ye Olde Timey D-Bag

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bill-swift - February 25, 2014

A 200 year old douche bag was found at New York's City Hall. No, I'm not talking about a member of the mayor's staff. It's an actual working vag cleaner from the time of George Washington. It is a "vaginal syringe" made from some unknown animal bone, (tee hee), and has a plunger on one end and a perforated membrane on the business end. As an expert on such things explains,

"Women used them for contraception, shooting solutions of astringents made from minerals or tree roots and barks into themselves before or after sex."

Imagine that. In the days before the pill and condoms ribbed for her pleasure, ladies had to shoot tree root juice in their hoo-has to kill those wrigglin' spermatozoa. Why your great-great-great-great grandma probably used a similar device. Its efficacy is questionable. Hence why you had a great-great-great grandfather. I for one am glad I live in the 21st century...not that we don't have plenty of douche bags hanging around.

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