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Would You Hit It For $1000: Serena Williams Fishnet Water Buffalo Edition

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Sam Robeson - January 23, 2019

 

This is a serious Would You Hit It that asks you weigh the importance of $1000. Not an insignificant amount of cash. But is it worth the hassle of wrangling a water buffalo in fishnets? Now we have a dialogue. A discourse. This Monday Serena Williams continued to be her discourse-ting self, boldly defying the taste standards of professional tennis by pouring herself into a roller derby getup that accentuated her ripped man body and hot dick.

Serena "The Rock" Williams was banned from wearing a Black Panther-in-a-bag Halloween costume during the French Open this past August, and ever since, has made it her mission to test the boundaries of dignity by wearing unexpected outfits to her matches. But Mrs. Bowflex doesn't understand that people don't hate her because of her fashion. And they don't hate her because she's a strong black woman either. Hell I went to the University of Tennessee, where the men's basketball team could have been outperformed by a post-mortem Air Bud. You can't go to UT and not have the utmost respect for talented women athletes of color like Chamique Holdsclaw and Tamika Catchings, because if nothing else, besides near-fatal frat guy butt chugging, they were the only people keeping our school on the damn map. Cartainly wasn't the academics. You've red my writing.

My point is that, contrary to whatever's going on in Williams' enraged roided out brain, people mostly hate her because she's - ugh how do I say this as my new woke af self - a fucking bitch? Hey I tried. So would you hit it? For $1000? And if not, what's your price?

 

Photo Credit: Backgrid

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