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Wonderfully Horrible Netflix Instant Films: “Jingle All The Way”

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bill-swift - December 12, 2013

This time of year the TV schedule is filled with holiday movies. Some of them are great, some of them are terrible, and some of them are Jingle All The Way. The movie is trying to make a statement about the rampant commercialization of Christmas and the mania associated with the hot toy item. But really, does any of that matter? We're dealing with a comedy starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad, for Christ's sake. Sinbad is the only person that could make you take this comedy any less seriously than Arnold. Sinbad is the death of comedy. This was during the period when Arnie wanted to expand outside of the action genre. But unlike Twins, this movie is just kinda bad.

Jingle All The Way tells the tale of two fathers and a toy called Turbo Man. Arnie is a workaholic dad that doesn't spend enough time with his son Jake Lloyd. Yes, THAT Jake Lloyd. Ani the podracer himself. Who can blame Arnie for wanting to stay away from that screeching weasel voice of his? At any rate, he wants to prove he's a good dad by getting the hot ticket Christmas item, an action figure called Turbo Man. The problem is that it's right before Christmas and he has to do battle with bad Santas, crazy crowds, and Sinbad to get it. Sinbad is a smack talking mailman that also desperately wants Turbo Man for his son. As you can imagine, the two rivals eventually team up and learn the real meaning of Christmas and crap.

This film is the Platonic form of the mediocre Christmas movie. Schlocky sentiments about the true meaning of Christmas are mixed together with ham-fisted commentary on rampant holiday commercialism. It's predictable, oh so predictable. It's the kind of movie that your mom would think was hilarious. She also likes the remake of Cheaper By The Dozen with Ashton Kutcher. Still, the movie does have the great Phil Hartman in it playing the prick next door neighbor. Hartman was a master at playing these kinds of A-holes. Still, the movie is worth watching in a holiday movie marathon after 5 or so spiked egg nogs. There is a Jingle All The Waydrinking game that is pretty epic. Do not, I repeat do not, watch this movie without the nog.

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