elliot-wolf - March 6, 2018
Macaulay Culkin isn’t getting the amount of attention he desires. He wasn’t nominated or even invited to attend the Oscars as someone’s plus one this past Sunday. So he did what any attention seeking boy in a man’s body would do, hop on social media and toss some shade around. Culkin took two full hours away from counting his dingleberry collection underneath his bed to shame Dustin Diamond for being a lame. It’s arguable that these two has-beens are practically on the same level when it comes to detestable behavior. Diamond swallowing tobacco spit for $25 doesn’t make the world forget the underaged Macauley/Michael bodily fluid swap sessions that went on at Neverland Ranch.
Here's some things I'm doing instead of watching the #oscars
5. Toejam & Earl pic.twitter.com/w2jWutHw83
— Macaulay Culkin (@IncredibleCulk) March 5, 2018
Culkin then switched targets and aimed crosshairs at Kevin Spacey and Harvey Weinstein stating they would sneak in wearing a long trench coat. I hope Culkin doesn’t desire pursing a career in comedy and sticks to being Paris Jackson’s full-time pillow fluffer and beverage fetcher. Next he shared poverty chic photos of him making ramen in a tuxedo. Not having any roles since the 90s will force any actor to make sure their dinner doesn’t cost more than 33 cents. I believe in the book of Hollywood it states “enter the Oscars through the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to such pedestrian behavior.” -Weinstein 3:16. It would be nice if someone tossed Macualay a bone so he can stop being so bitter on Twitter. He might have been laughing then but I’m pretty sure he cried himself to sleep later than evening.
Photo Credit: Macaulay Culkin's inexplicably hot girlfriend Brenda Song from Backgrid USA / Instagram / Twitter