ADVERTISEMENT

UNCATEGORIZED

Why America Should Be Proud High Schoolers in CA Started a ‘Fantasy Slut League’

Gallery Icon

bill-swift - October 25, 2012

That's right, I said proud. But also shame, lots and lots of shame for the Piedmont, CA male varsity athletes who created the 'fantasy slut league' where they would literally draft 'female students and earn points for documenting sexual activity with them.'

At strictly face value, it shows some imagination on part of varsity athletes, which was unheard of up until now. I'm not saying they're rolling the die in a game of Dungeons and Dragons on a Friday night in their parent's basement (free for all for anyone who wants to join me), but this is basically just one step away from a quiet game of Magic the Gathering outside during lunch break.

Secondly, fantasy sports in general requires loads and loads of statistics. And if America is behind in one thing globally we can all agree in, it's math. You've heard it spoken about by every candidate this election season. That's why when I see some high school guys misogynistic enough to come up with something as degrading as this, I at first shudder. But then I think about the statistics, the equations, the mathematical proofs necessary to make a fantasy league effective and I wonder to myself if the engineers of tomorrow aren't perhaps the douche bag high schoolers of today?

Lastly, the reason why we should be happy about this, is that it could be worse. Much, much worse. Remember back in 2008 when nearly twenty girls in a Massachusetts high school decided to make a pregnancy pact? Seventeen girls got together and decided to get pregnant any way they could in order to raise their babies together, one girl even managing to get knocked up by a '24-year-old homeless guy' in order to get the job done. When I was in high school, the only thing you could get 17 students to agree on was to say 'no' when I asked them to the prom (No big deal. My little cousin was available).

For the girls drafted and earned points, the pain of the 'fantasy slut league' is temporary. The pregnancy pact means a human being will be miserable for decades when they learn how and why they were conceived. And that's a pain that'll last a lifetime. Which is precisely why I applaud the ingenuity and imagination of these young athletes. I'd like to meet some of them one day and say, 'Hey. You're the future this country. Keep on doing what you've been doing. And oh yeah, you're a complete douche.'

Tagged in: humor ,



Comments



>