Natalie Portman’s World of Fug

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bill-swift - January 31, 2006

Why Natalie? Why? I don't understand what you are doing at all. Listen, I consider us to be friends (in that stalker-obsessive way), so as your friend, please allow me to be honest with you, and know that I say this with only the kindest intentions. You're outfit is terrible. I was hoping your outfit last week was going to be a one-time thing, but I guess you're going to stick with this whole "grandma" look, aren't you?

Seriously, though, what's with the coat? I'm sure you can afford something newer than a "vintage" 70s salvation army find. And the ruffled shirt. My God, the ruffled shirt. And once again, the hair needs to be straightened. Add to that the knit hoodie, and the old Chucks, and well, it's not good. I know it's work, but you're a celebrity. It's part of the job. You can do so much better, and you wouldn't want to end up like your pal Britney. I'm not saying you have to glam it up everyday, but this whole thing, is just... no.

Update: It seems that Natalie's coat is not vintage. It is actually from the new Juicy Couture line. Of course, that still does not make it right. Or less ugly.