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editor - January 6, 2011

JAKE GYLLENHAAL AND TAYLOR SWIFT - broke up, and now that vindictive psychopath will no doubt try to embarrass him in one of her songs. "And people wonder why I'm gay," Jake will no doubt say to himself. (

LINDSAY LOHAN - says she's not stalking her ex Sam Ronson, and it's just a coincidence that she moved across town to a house 30 feet from where Sam lives. And that seems reasonable. In a city of 15 million people, how could you NOT rent a house right next to your ex. It's inevitable. (fox)

KATE GOSSELIN - is in Australia with her kids whom she clearly hates. Maybe thats why she's teaching them that, when you see a crocodile in the water, go jump on it's back and try to ride it. Come kids, there's plenty of room, remember to make lots of quick, sudden moves.

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