We Break Our ‘No 86-Year-Old Women on Egotastic!’ Rule to Bring You the Grand Theft Auto-Loving Gamer Grandma (VIDEO)

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bill-swift - January 24, 2013

They do if you have the lamentable fortune of being stuck behind one on the highway, sure. Whether in a humongous, impractical-for-an-old-bastard 4x4 or one of those three-eighths of a mile an hour wrinkly-wagons on the sidewalk, OAPs are an asspain.

If there's one thing we can fastidiously mock pensioners for, it's... probably those adult-diapers they're coerced into wearing, so as not to leak piss all over your kitchen linoleum when they visit on a Sunday afternoon before you haul their asses back to the home. But if there's another thing, it'd be their capacity to believe that video games are the hideous spawn of the Devil and his twin sister, Margaret (don't put a little incestuous nastiness beyond this bastard. That's so him). The most fleeting foray into a violent video game is enough to send them into paroxysms of outrage. Or drowsiness, should it coincide with their naptime. An ineptitude with modern technology hasn't helped their cause either.

"Bingo? Nuts to that. We want to shoot drug dealers in the balls." Image source:

Raising a calloused, liver spot-y middle finger at such notions is British grandma Hilda Knott. The above footage provided for your delectation sees her cruising about in Grand Theft Auto like the brilliant renegade mofo she is. Is she adhering responsibly to the rules of the road and/or crawling at half the pace of a comatose tortoise, thus pissing her fellow motorists right off? She is not. You're more apt to see her crushing the scrote of that stray cat that keeps shitting in her virtual yard ‘neath the wheels of her freshly-purloined vehicle. ("I played this once with my aunt who's now 94 and we had a hilarious time," quoth Hilda.) Which is just the kind of energetic, homicidal camaraderie you don't see enough of from today's oldies.

For that, for the humongous television, for forty years of actual gamer credentials (Disgaea 4, you say?), and for disseminating a positive message about the medium, we salute this wrinkled wonder.