Vlad Dracula Has Been Found

According to some historian and scientists have figured out where Dracula, Vlad the Impaler, was buried. It has long been assumed that he was killed in battle and buried somewhere in what is today Romania. But according to these sciency guys he was actually buried in Piazza Santa Maria la Nova in Naples. Apparently, he was captured and ransomed in Italy where his daughter was living. Europe's bad boy prince who was known for killing thousands of people by impalement. Later, he became a vampire that can turn into a bat and stuff. He went to London and was defeated by Van Helsing and his band of merry vampire hunters. But I guess that was all BS.

What I do know is that those Italians had better do something about that tomb. First, check to see that he's still in there. If he is, they need to stake his ass and cut off his head. More likely he's roaming around killing virgins and sucking their blood. Can we really afford to lose any more virgins.