Unicorn In Police Custody After Going AWOL

A unicorn sent police on a four hour chase in central California. The unicorn escaped from a party where little girls where pretending to be princesses and whatnot. You know, the crap little girls do. Well, the mythical beast had enough of that crap and decided to bolt. The cops got reports of the unicorn wandering around in traffic. Apparently, the beast would rather get hit by a car than attend a child's birthday party. I know the feeling. I have been to kid's birthday parties where I wanted to slit my wrist open with the Frozen paper plates. Eventually, the police used an infrared camera to find the magical creature. He was returned to the magical elf who owns him and pimps him out to parties.

Who knew that there were real unicorns available for rent? It makes me wonder what else I can get by the hour. I know there are some people I would like to unleash a Balrog on.