Sam Robeson - June 26, 2017
UFC fighter Justine Kish was facing off against Felice Herrig in front of a live audience on Sunday when she shit her shorts. Kish released her bowels while enduring a move called the killer rear naked choke. The contents found their way out of her fighting garb and onto the mat. Both ladies continued to roll around barefoot in Kish's poop. People in East St. Louis pay a lot of money to see this stuff.
Like Madonna's body, the world is crumbling at this very moment. at least according to news outlets. Only be offended if you live in a city not targeted by ISIS. Their discerning stamp means a city is a place to see and be seen. Sea levels are rising, Ryan Murphy is still allowed to produce television shows, and an Ivanka Trump sex tape has yet to be released. Where exactly are my taxes going? Kish is the poopy distraction that we need. Comedians aren't doing the trick these days. Kish is just here to bring the yucks. Maybe she chugged a pack of Activia beforehand in preparation for shitting out levity.
After pooping her pants, Kish took to Twitter to state:
I am a warrior, and I will never quit #ShitHappens haha be back soon.
Haha indeed. The world would be a better place if more celebrities shit themselves. Gigi Hadid needs to pair the season's hottest slingbacks with a puddle of steaming diareah. Gwyneth Paltrow should share the health benefits of having a brown blowout with her Goop followers. She'll demonstrate at their next coven. Thank you to Herrig for beating the shit out of Kish. And thank you Kish for your fibrous diet. You are the future of entertainment.
Photo Credit: TMZ
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