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Troye Sivan Sings About Gay Sex On Today

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Sam Robeson - June 4, 2018

 

Tweens and Toledo housewives have long belted out lyrics to popular songs that they didn't realize were about inserting a penis into a vagina repeatedly until seminal fluid is produced, and now thanks to openly horny singer and Tilda Swinton cosplayer Troye Sivan, they can now belt out lyrics that they don't realize about inserting a penis into a butthole repeatedly until seminal fluid is produced. Just stating the facts. Sivan performed his single "Bloom" - which even my dog knows is about doing it - during the Today show, and every basic ho and her mom bussed into NYC from Wisconsin can be seen screaming their heads off while reciting lyrics like:

____________________
I need you to,
Tell me right before it goes down.
Promise me you'll,
Hold my hand if I get scared now.
Might tell you to,
Take a second, baby, slow it down.
You should know I, you should know I,
I bloom just for you.
____________________

Here's an acoustic version for comparison:


Everything from Neil Diamond's declaration of wanting to touch Caroline Kennedy in "Sweet Caroline" to Lady Gaga inviting people to ride her girthy disco stick in "Love Game" has become fodder for listicles like "Songs You Didn't Know Were About Sex" And "Songs You Should Probably Listen To Again," and "Songs That Are Terrible." But the gay Sivan apparently favors didacticism over coy innuendo. No wink or nod really needed for "I bloom just for you." Despite what Sivan might say about the song. Sivan not only got an entire crowd to sing about taking D, but also all the housewives tuning into Today, and for that, he gets a gold star. We need more yucks in our lives. Can't wait for him to pimp his next gardening-themed single on the talk show circuit - "Plow."

 

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Photo Credit: Instagram

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