Today In Japanese Weirdness: The Burger King Black Burger

The bun is black. The cheese is black. The meat is also black. The sauce is, you guessed it, black. It's the douchey goth kid of burgers and you can only get it at Burger King in Japan. It's called the Kuro burger and the bun and cheese have charred bamboo in it, which just sounds weird to me. "Can I have some more charred wood bits on my food, please?" The burger has a lot of black pepper which is probably a step up from the tasteless grey hockey puck you get in a Burger King burger here in the states. The sauce? Made with black squid ink. Look, I know people eat it in pasta and calamari but on a burger from Burger King it is just friggin' weird. Look, I know I'm being a burger jingoist here. I know that to someone from Japan this may seem like the most delicious thing since they invented the soiled panty vending machine.

As for me, I'll stick with my normal brown burger with a brown bun and yellow cheese like the good Lord Jesus H. Christ intended when he invented the cheeseburger in the year 31 to feed the multitudes.