Michael Garcia - June 28, 2016
Oh, Japan. Land of the rising sun and gross gross sexual stuff. I've told you guys before about their love of tentacle porn and severed female torso lap pillows. Today we journey into the dirty magic kingdom to explore a line of Disney Princess lingerie. Have you ever wanted to have sexual relations with Cinderella or Belle but couldn't because they are, you know, friggin' cartoons? Well, pervo-san look no further than the Bellemaison website in Japan. You can get Belle, Cinderella, Aurora, and Rapunzel for only 38000 Yen, ($38). When you were a kid you might have dreamed of one day being a handsome prince and sweeping the princess off her feet. I won't judge you. I will judge you if you want to buy frilly princess underwear and pretend to have sex with a teenage cartoon.
I've always wondered how one negotiates this sort of thing. You take a gal home, pour a glass of wine, put on the original soundtrack album of Sleeping Beauty, and then what? Do you just blurt it out? "Will you please dress up like a Disney princess for me?" or do you try and negotiate, "OK, if you dress up like Belle for me, I'll do the dishes for a month." What kind of woman goes for this sort of thing? I imagine some kind of scary creature one finds at a comic-con or something. Blech.
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