The Weekly WTF: Y’Know, A Lot of Things in Video Games Look Like Wangs

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bill-swift - July 11, 2014

Eat your heart out, The Sixth Sense. Seeing dead people is one thing, but seeing freaking dicks everywhere is a whole new kind of terrible affliction.

In this charmingly boner-based throwback to 2010, GamesRadar show their journalistic credentials. Their renegade, no effs given, riding-straight-into-the-mouth-of-hell-on-grandma's-mobility-scooter philosophy. Their willingness to cover the vital issues of our time, which lesser bastards would steer clear of. Issues such as Things in games that look a bit like penises.

Now, the humble danglers have always had a slightly disturbing yet undeniable place in games. If there's a customization option, you can bet that someone's tried their darndest to make themselves a dick with it. PS4‘s spangly space shooter Resogun recently added a ship creator, and what happened there? A ream of flying space-gonads firing angry manjuice lasers, that's what happened.

This presumably says something about society as a whole, but we won't get all sciencetastic on your asses. Instead, let's just appreciate the chutzpah this guy needed to have to announce to the Internet that ‘I've had a folder named 'Things in games that look a bit like penises' on my desktop for quite a while now.' Check out the contents of said folder here, from Metal Gear Rex's arm to a pig-dude's hand that is the spitting image of a bellend.

How can you pass up an offer like that? You damn well can't.

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