bill-swift - April 4, 2014
Ah, Loaded. For many gamers (well, for... me, at any rate), this outrageous slice of goretastic was quite the rite of passage. Back in the mid-nineties, Ma would probably have unleashed her favorite ass-slappin' slipper if she'd seen us playing anything so horrendous. We would gather around our PlayStations in a clandestine fashion, and bask in the weird, weirdly weird weirdness that was going down.
Loaded was released by Gremlin Interactive in 1995. It brings us the story of F.U.B (Fat Ugly Boy), a catering officer for the space marines of the distant future. Crazy-assily deciding to amputate and cook his own legs for the platoon one day, he is exiled, and forms a deranged band of space pirates to seek his revenge.
Well, nothing screwy so far.
His vengeance, as is so often the case, involves framing a motley crew of perverted psychopaths for your assorted crimes. These poor crazy bastards are all holed up on the prison planet of Raulf; which F.U.B has recently become the chief warden of (via some enterprising murdering of the other dudes in charge). On top of that, he's stolen some kind of dimension-doorway machine, and... whatever the hell else is going on here.
It also bears mentioning that this dude has two hydraulic legs, a target tattooed on his stomach and a penchant for Havana cigars.
So, yes. Loaded is already pretty effin' nuts, just by concept alone. But then you play, and discover just what a steaming slice of fresh-from-the-oven red hot brilliant madness it really is. It's a top-down shooter with a macabre sense of humor, a taste for the goretastic and no shits to give about those first two things.
Escaping your cell on Raulf as one of six nutbags, you embark on a quest to shoot everybody's face in the face. Imagine Smash TV melded with the gleefully gory Itchy and Scratchy, created by Edgar Allan Poe, and you're halfway to appreciating the Loaded lunacy.
Feast your eyes, ears and balls:
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