The Weekly WTF: Just What the Balls is the Deal with Street Fighter’s Blanka?

As we know, there's a lot of weirdly weird weird-ass weirdery in fighting games. From Guilty Gear's nine-foot-tall sex criminal dude with a sack over his head, to Tekken's boxing kangaroo via Soul Calibur's Spanish pirate zombie, it's all pretty damn nutty around here.

For the best of the classic crazies, you need look no further than hairy-assed manbeast Blanka. And we're checking him out right now, so put your damn pants back on and pay attention.


This guy was introduced in 1991, added to the roster for Street Fighter II. The first thing to know is that he didn't always look like one of the Addams family's deranged cousins. Originally a regular lil' dude named Jimmy, his plane crashed in the Amazon rainforest. The stricken craft was then struck by lightning, just as a bonus eff you to all of the poor bastards on board.

In what kind of bizarro world would this mutate Jimmy into a green ginger giant with funky lightning powers? In this one, that's which. Alternatively, depending on which Street Fighter installment you're playing, Blanka was taught to harness electricity by electric eels. Taught, you say? How in holy hell did they do that?

But that's just what we're dealing with here. We're balls-deep in a sort of crazy fantasy land where eels have limbs to brandish enthusiastically at whiteboards.

Anywho, growing up alone in the jungle can change a man. Into some kind of hairy Incredible Hulk, apparently. Blanka doesn't fight --or move in general, come that-- like any other character in the genre. He may walk with an awkward-ass shoulder shuffle, like Quasimodo's shat himself, but this feral fighter has a trick or two up his sleeve.

Quite apart from mashing buttons like a mofo to make electricity, he's also a big ol' angry human cannonball (albeit the kind that isn't domesticated, and is prone to taking a dump on your kitchen floor). Yep, we've no clue how, but Blanka can curl into a ball and 'fire' himself into opponents, Sonic-style.

A wonderful trick. Maybe it was those smart-ass eel teachers again.

But hey, mutant man-freaks are unique, if nothing else. Blanka has been a fan favorite since his introduction. Not bad for a dude who talks like Taz.